Congratulations! You made the hardest decision yet, you’ve decided you want to try to work through this affair, stay together and rebuild trust in your relationship. This can be difficult when most of society advocates for a split. For many couples, after an affair, the only option seems to be to throw in the towel. […]
Many couples that enter eft therapy are stuck in the nasty cycle of “Find the Bad Guy.” This captivating exchange of pointing fingers and giving evidence to prove your innocence can feel just as empowering as it does upsetting. This is the Blame Game. However, what most partners fail to notice is as they point […]
Shame is one of the trickier emotions to understand. Often times, it gets villainized. Most people want to hide their shame or get rid of it as soon as possible. However, if you want to help yourself or your partner heal shame, it’s important to first understand it. Stop Trying to Fix It! Most commonly, […]
Shame is one of the trickier emotions to understand. It can be complex for those unaware of its purpose. While shame can serve some adaptive social roles, in some cases it can be toxic for relationships and individuals. Knowing the distinction is crucial. Shame is a social emotion. Shame is one of the most important […]
Talking about divorce can be scary for any couple. However, many of the couples in therapy come in for just this reason: the threat of divorce. It can be difficult to decipher whether this is really the end for us or if they are just protesting. At Cycles Couples Counseling we will help you to […]
How do we figure out if we’re in a cycle? Do you ever feel like you and your partner have the same argument over-and-over again? Find yourself stuck in the same relationship patterns no matter who you date? Does it feel like you end up with the same outcome, regardless of how many times you […]
Anger Management is a phrase many couples throw around in couples therapy. They insist their partner needs to go work on their "anger issues." "He's always yelling and it's terrifying." "She is so dramatic. She freaks out over everything." Frequently, partners try to shut their reactions down, by either doing one of two things—yelling back […]
Congratulations! You made it past the biggest hurdle, you and your partner decided to finally try couples therapy. This is probably one of the bravest decisions you can make. Deciding to enter therapy and share emotions with a third party can be very vulnerable. Finding a couples therapist can feel overwhelming. Okay, we’re down to […]
Why does my couples therapist keep making us do enactments? One of the most frequent protests an Emotionally Focused Therapist hears is about the “turn and share” part of therapy. In Emotionally Focused Therapy we refer to these mini impromptu conversations as enactments. “Didn’t I just say it?” “This is awkward.” “They already know.” “They […]
Society has really done a disservice to men. It’s taught them to “man up” and not show their emotions. We see this in tv, movies, in sports, and sometimes even in the family system. This message is so pervasive. Be tough! Be aggressive! Don’t cry! That’s weak! Be independent! The basic gist of all these […]
